The Woman in the Arena

It’s been a while folks.

Is it just me or 2018 is going by waaay too fast?

More than half of the year down, a couple more months to go! And guess what? I am on the move– AGAIN!

I have been moving my life from SG to MNL to SG in less than a year– from work rotations and promotion.

And yes, it’s been such a ride. But as life presents itself, all things must come into an end. It’s now time to move on to the next chapter.

Alas, adios Singapore!

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These past three years have been truly challenging, weird, and wacky. What a huge growth spurt!?

I guess what’s weird is that I never thought I will be going back home to Manila so soon? Three years out of home and I just have gotten used to living independently for a while now. Sometimes I feel quite silly of my decision to come home again…which on a sidenote, honestly scares me to the bone.

For the past three years, I have worked so hard to be earn my graduate degree while working a 9 to 5pm job on the side. After that, I pushed myself even further and tried my best to prove everything I have got to excel in my role at the biggest Flavour manufacturing (Ever!). (I love the industry and I like how quirky it is).

And I did all these for what?

At first, I thought I did those all for career growth and gaining a well rounded international experience. But after much self – reflection, I realized the real reason why.

I wanted a way out. I needed to escape home.

Most of all, I wanted to feel empowered by choice… to live out a better life and move away from all the travesty and chaos of my family problems. I longed for peace the most.

But I guess life is funny , as the picture is coming to a full circle. I am now ironically working my way back to be at the center of the arena.

This is the same arena I chose to leave behind three years ago. And now, it has come crawling back.

So If there’s anything I have learned (Again and again) is that you can’t really run away from anything.

Yes, this is a never ending banal platitude served on a platter– but it’s true.

Queue in David Foster Wallace’s speech on “This is Water”: “The most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.”

Sooner or later, we really need to get our act together. No one is going to fight your battles but you.

No one.

So yes, I am going to be that woman in the arena. With fingers crossed and hearts full, I want to dare greatly to the unknown (Thanks Brene Brown).

And maybe.. just maybe for real this time, who knows? I can find my peace.

Time to explore!

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