Taking Heart

I AM BACK!

I know I haven’t been blogging for a while now, but the past year have been absolutely crazy for me. Late news– but I just finished my senior year from Ateneo, graduated my major (management of applied chemistry)  + minor degrees (development studies)—- And I am officially done with college! *Happy Dance*

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So for the most dreadful but most anticipated question: What now?

Well, it’s been a tough couple of months for me– trying out to figure out my next steps.

Whether it’s going all out sending my resumes to different MNC’s, trying to make it to endless number of interviews, getting my art out there, travelling to new places and to finally having the guts to try out for a masters degree abroad, my summer was all about getting myself out there in the open. It’s all about embracing change, braving rejections, and welcoming new opportunities. I won’t say it was the “best summer ever”, but it was my most memorable one yet.

It took a lot of deciding for me, but I would like to share with everyone that in two weeks (SO NEARRRR!!), I’ll be moving to Singapore soon to take up my masters at SMU (Singapore Management University). It took a lot of guts (and convincing) to open up this opportunity to my parents. But more than that, it took lot of time for me as well, to fully figure out what I would want to do with my life.

As most of you all know, I am (and will always be) an artist at heart. I always loved drawing– it’s one of my truest passions in life. I love creating things and I love love love drawing cartoons! But I realized, after university life and after getting the chance to start my own sideline business, I am also an entrepreneur at heart. I love doing both. As such, it was really hard for me to choose “the right next step for me” (*referring to Regina Brett’s quote of “When in doubt, just take the right next step.”). Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t 100% figured it all out. However, for some reason at all, I feel like this is where I am being led to.

While I know my current faith life isn’t strong, it seems like in the most times I have been down and lost this summer, God’s really trying to be constant in giving me “the right next steps” (for now). I know I haven’t praying a lot as well, or discerning as much as I should in terms of my decisions, but there, constantly, in the little things… I have been getting the same signs. And it all points to one thing— growth and independence.

Well in all this confusion between choosing to (1) work here in Manila first or (2) pursue art school or (3) go for masters—– God revealed himself to me through my friend. She told me something that enlightened me somehow. She said, instead of thinking what you want to do, think about who do you want to be? What kind of person would you like yourself to be in the future?

And all I could think about is: I really want to be a person who leads by example, who puts her heart’s advocacy on her sleeve, who does something worth her time everyday, who makes a difference, who course through with life with light, joy and rigor, and who acts on her passion. I want to be a maker, an artist, and a social entrepreneur.

As such, with all this, I thought to myself, why not try for this masters course? Taking it won’t necessary mean I am giving up on my art or my craft. It just means I am getting closer to my goal of improving myself better– to become an entrepreneur.

And for me, taking this step abroad, is essential for my self development as well. Having to grow up in a strict home, I have always been a sheltered kid. I grew up just circling around the edges, afraid to jump in the unknown. But this time, having this opportunity, I get to figure out my strengths and weaknesses as an individual. I get to know myself better– my limits, my frustrations, my talent. And I get to realize my potential and improve on my confidence! You see, this will be the very first time I’ll be out of my shell. First time living alone, first time feeling independent, first time making choices of my own. And I actually feel so happy— genuinely happy, as if I am just starting to actually taste what life truly is like. And I can’t wait!

So cheers to new food, new people, new environment, new adventures and ultimately– new opportunity for growth!

Hoping I can get to conquer this humbling experience and come out as a better and stronger individual, confident and contented in heart, grounded and driven to accept whatever it is to come for me. Cheering myself on to this new found odyssey!

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One thought on “Taking Heart

  1. YAY! Cheers to your new adventure and journey! And cheers to you! Your life story always inspires me. Hope I get to find my next right step like you have found yours. ☺️

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