Blogging straight from the beach side over here. I guess I wanted a change of view for a while. I admit for being so negative the past few months. There were bad experiences and things got hard for me. If you’ve been probably following most of my posts, more or less, you must have an idea now of all my troubles.
But, well, I am tired. I am really tired of being so sad. I am tired of feeling lost. I am tired of feeling the opportunity costs of my so called ”wallowing in sadness”.
So there, from now on, I will try my best to feel the glee of life. Although, this doesn’t change the fact that I am still undergoing a lot of stress right now, I am still really trying to change. I am choosing to be free.
I want to free myself from frustration and loss. I want to be able to free myself from anger and stress. I want to choose life.
These past few of weeks were truly a testament of God’s goodness. Although I am still struggling with my faith, I want to say that I am also trying now at least– to have an effort of fixing my relationship with God. These past few weeks were truly amazing and I think He is trying to reveal himself to me. Since I am trying to break down my so called “wallow wall” (What?), I guess I am now opening myself more to people and I get to see their random acts of kindness more.
-I got to witness my dad’s care for me (in a lot of moments these past few weeks… even though I am still not completely all open and trying to be forgiving in all….in trying to fix our relationship, because of “the past” but well, okay..baby steps)
-I got to see people’s genuine support for my random efforts LOL. Since, I am planning to go to art school after graduation, (if God wills it) I am really trying my best to earn as much as I can now. I want to help my parents with the expenses. I am releasing an online shop soon if you’re interested. Excited stuff I tell you! You can visit here: Bare Necessities MNL ! We are currently under construction and we have enough stocks for test marketing. Like our page for details! If it goes well, I might open our stuff for shipping. 🙂
-I got to bond with my brothers more! I got to know them better and well, I guess I was able to understand their language of love. It was touching how they really got mature through the years and we get to be able to share more stuff than ever now.
-I got to see how people also support my art. I know I am not a great artist and there are a lot more people out there who are already masters in this field, but it’s nice to have friends and families who believe in your strength.
-It’s nice to have people believing in you. truly. It’s been a while and I admit I have had some problems dealing with this conflicting issue with my recent elected position. I have issues battling my own insecurities and letting myself continue to wallow in misery (I am not good enough, I know nothing…). But I guess it helps when people are able to see you through, for them to put their faith and trust in you. It feels amazing.
I have a lot more in my list, believe me. I am just beyond thankful for God trying to reveal himself to me—when I have waited for so long already. But I am here now, trying to be more open to life.
I have lost my faith in many things, but I am glad that I am now rekindling it– making it even stronger than before.
How about you? How’s your life journey going lately? 🙂