I am walking in a labyrinth. But that’s life isn’t it?
And that holds true, because you know what?
It’s beauty. It’s wonder. It’s adventure.
I know my past posts are too depressive, sad, insecure, suicidal etc. But good news is that, I am trying my best really to be better. —pushing myself to actually. But it’s okay, no one wants a pity party pooper don’t we?
So let’s go and give a shot to rebirth. Let’s break a smile for facing a new day. Let’s move forward.
I’ve always fallen flat on my face. Failures never seemed to end, whether it’s the failure of academics (might be shallow for some of you, but inevitably it really affects how you view yourself), failure of achieving certain goals (being productive, acing a test, having the courage to tell someone what you feel) or even failure of being yourself (being frustrated and depressed, confused of your journey of finding yourself)– Inevitably, these are the failures we have to go through, or have to get pass through. Easier said than done, I know. My suicidal attempts already attest to that fact.
Nevertheless–although we necessarily don’t get to control time or the circumstance/experience we have, we are given a choice. It is within this choice, we get to extend ourselves, and control how we actually deal and react with the circumstances we experience.
I won’t be a hypocrite. It’s tough. It’s hard. It’s frustrating, irritating, maddening and depressing all at the same time. But what I really realized, is that the first step in actually wanting to MOVE FORWARD, is to actually recognize the feelings we have. If you’re frustrated, go ahead. Want to throw something, your call. Want to be cry all your guts out? Do it. It’s all about realizing what we feel and being honest about it, only then we will know what we want, and only then will we have that slightest idea on what step we have to take.
It doesn’t have to be big. It doesn’t have to be immediate. It just has to start. Whether it’s small or what, it’s already enough to mend the emptiness we feel and the void it created within ourselves.
I am still finding my way back, learning to trust again, and finding my way to get a hold of my faith again. No matter how I run away from my problems, I can’t run to the fact that I am still experiencing it either way. The pain of going through whatever you’re going through still pierces you. I am going to face the music. We have to be the better man.
Take a leap of faith and seek the truth. Perhaps, doing this so, we would be able to have that step closer to our own healing.
We are all a work in progress, and work hereto shall be. Try and maybe, we’ll get there.
Who knows? What we might find at the end of this labyrinth, is just actually what we need.
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” -Matthew 7:7